Since I became director of the little non profit that could, I have had one nightmare, over and over. I even joked about it with my staff and clients. I never thought it would happen, and hoped and prayed just to make sure. But then there was last night. I have spent my whole day reeling from the fact that my most terrifying fear has come true.
Now that day is done and the dust has settled, I am really thinking if this is what I want. When so many of my age are looking to define their careers and futures, I am really thinking of scrapping mine. I mean, I haven’t hit 30 and I am running an non profit. What do I have left to prove? More importantly, who am I trying to prove it to? I think I may have gotten caught up in the dc game of, “what do you do and who do you work for,” as well as the competition of who can work more hours at their job? Being an adult means being responsible, but I don’t think that means I have to be sans fun? There has got to be some way to do both. I think I realized tonight that I have my big important job to fill my need to be important. And really, it doesn’t matter.
3 comments:
excellent....glad to see that you finally listened to Mr. Nelson
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you can find what truly makes you happy! Obviously, I have no idea about the details of what happened, but you have my sympathy.
Have been asking the epitaph question: what do I want written on my headstone? Or "what do I want to brag about on my resume in 5 years?" Or "I'd be so much more satisfied at the end of the work week if I'd been ..."
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